Memories and Memoirs

Memories. That little world. So much meaning and so much thought. They are the best and worst thing that can happen to us in a pretty similar way to love. The last two weeks my heart has ached a whole mix of emotions, tears, hurt, Frustration, blame, anger. Feelings are something we can’t switch off however hard we try, there’s only so many times people can tell you your strong and will get through something, when someone has been a part of your life they etch a part of your heart that’s never taken away. Everywhere you look there’s a reminder of a memory you made or a moment you shared, the dreams you promised each other and the daft moments that you know know one else would understand, you scroll through photos, messages and anything you can find trying to make sense of whatever you can, trying to get answers and understanding and wishing you still woke up to those messages and feeling their kiss on your nose . Truth is I am probably stronger than I know but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it when the world’s crashing around you. Like many I’ve been here before, this time I swore it was different and I’d never see those days again, oh how wrong I could be. A song on the radio, a soft toy a simple photo they all bring that pain to the surface and although you know beating yourself up won’t help, yup we do it anyway. Truth is I’m tired of pain and tears and I’m tired of analysing everything that should or could have been, I’ll never get tired of fighting cause I was born with it in my blood, so tonight for the long time in a while she’s drying her eyes and putting on her favourite mac and digging her heels into her knee high boots she will share love and stories with her best friend on a dance floor that cannot judge. She’s facing the world for herself and nobody else, because people who love us will always truly try and she knows this best friend will never break her heart.

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